Tribute to my Grandmother

I wish all my readers a very happy 2018 to you and your family. Hope this year brings with it success, positivity, resilience, growth and give you the strength to go out of your comfort zone and reach your goals. I  solemnly swear that I have been up to no good so far (Yes, Harry Potter reference ) and I hope that I break this monotonous cycle of lazily being an adult that I have gotten myself into.

This post is very personal and close to my heart because it is about my grandmother (May her soul rest in peace), and how I lost my bond with her over the years.

Personally for me, 2017 ended and 2018 started on a great note until my dad called me in the evening of 3^rd January 2018 to tell me that my grandmother (my mother’s mother) passed away. She was my last remaining grandparent and I had lived with her when I was young. With these years, I have come to realize that everything makes more sense and you realize the importance of people in your life as you grow old and start trying to “adult” (around 23 years onwards).

As soon as my dad told me the details,  I was in denial I told him all the reasons I could think of to justify why nothing could have happened to her like she was in good health, she seemed healthy last time my mom went to see her and many more reasons. Then like quicksand, I got swamped by the emotion I was denying – Regret. Till that moment, I have never encountered regret and it was my own guilt and disappointment at not meeting my grandmother for the past 11 years when deep down I have been wanting to but was put off by different people and scenarios. As well as the fact that I was not adamant about my desire to meet her. I had numerous excuses which at that point of time felt like justifiable reasons as to why I didn’t go meet her - like us being in different countries, my grandmom staying at one of my relatives home to whom we are not on talking terms and us not having the privacy to talk to her and so on.

But the moment I learned that she is no longer with us and that I had blown off my chance to take a flight down to see her. It dawned on me that, I will no longer be able to see her kind smile and be enveloped in the warmth of her hug ever again. That is when I realized how bad a granddaughter I have been, and that I should have gathered up the courage to go and see her even though situations/people deterred me. I am really sorry Amooma (that’s how I call her…or called her :( ).

My Amoooma

All the fond memories I have with her came flooding back like it was just yesterday when I went to India for my vacation in 3^rd grade. As soon as the car stopped at the entrance to our house, I stepped out to look around and was grabbed into the tightest hug with lots of kisses all over my face. My grandmother was radiating joy and affection as she held me in her arms and called my name. That is when I saw her wide smile which made her eyes cringe, her silver greying hair tied up in a knot, her blue and white stoned nose stud and most of all her kind face. She brought with her the smell of smoke from the wood stove (chulha ) and the fragrance of the meal she was preparing –that is my favorite memory of meeting her after growing up to an age where I can remember details.

Spending vacations in a village meant a drastic change in the lifestyle I was used to living in Dubai. For two months in a year, the apartment corridors would be replaced by vast open fields and courtyards where you could listen to the tree branches swishing, men discussing politics and news in the tea shop, cows mooing on their way to the pond to be washed and ladies haggling with the vegetable/ fish vendors. I would wake up early, run to my grandparent’s home in my imaginary scooter, and sit on the kitchen floor licking off Complan from a plate while watching my grandmother cut vegetables using a sickle. My evenings were filled with lighting the lamp and having vibhuthi (sacred ash) applied on my forehead and forearms by my grandmother while my grandfather would read the Ramayana (An epic poem read in Hindu households).

My grandmother was a strong woman who lost both her parents when she was young and was raised by her brothers; she was entrepreneurial as well as independent all her life. Even though my grandfather had a grocery store and they could live a good life, she also had her own firewood-selling shack in the backyard to earn extra income for the family and that was her path to financial independence. She would tell me stories of her childhood as we made newspaper covers in the light of the kerosene lamp to sell grains in the shop, that was what we used long before plastic packaging came into place. She also took care of her farm animals like her children; to her, they were also her family. She would give me a goat and a calf to take care of, whenever I stayed with her for the holidays. For someone who does not see animals other than stray cats and camels all through the year, this was a welcome change . Unknowingly she was developing an affinity for animals in me.

That's my Grandfather and Grandmother from my mother's side. They played a big role in making me who I am today as I stayed with them during my formative years.

I have seen her attend to a cow giving birth even though she has never learned any veterinary science, swing her axe with grace whether she was cutting firewood or jackfruit and complete anything that she has to do however tedious it is, without relying on a man. She taught me to do many things like – build a temporary stove with stones and firewood,   make brooms from palm leaves, reignite a fire by blowing into glowing charcoal, how to grind rice in an aatukal(a manual stone grinder) ,  how to get banana to ripen by placing it in a granary (pathayam)  which was used in the olden days for storing rice and grains. how to make a spoon from the leaves of the jackfruit tree and many more which I would probably never use in my life but does show me where my roots come from and warm my heart with nostalgia. She also taught me to be resilient and independent (generally & financially) with the way she led her life and proved to me that you can be humble, kind and still badass.

I am welling up with sadness and anger (at myself) as I am trying to finish this tribute to my grandmother because I could write so much more. If there is one message I wish to convey, it is to never take anyone in your life for granted. The joy you bring to your grandparents and parents by just visiting them and spending time with them is something we may not realize now until we are in their shoes. With our loved ones entering old age and us occupied with our professional/personal lives, the distance is widening and every minute we spent talking to them and sharing their chores, without our mobile phones or any other distraction will definitely lift their spirits and cheer them up. If you cannot be physically near them, then a phone call/ video call will also make them happy.

This tribute is my humble way of remembering my grandmother for the wonderful woman she was. I am going to carry my regret as I already I miss her so much and this will serve as a reminder to me of how important it is to value people in your life when you have the chance.

Courtesy : http://www.iliketoquote.com  

So dear readers we all have grandparents who spoilt us, guide us and are our source of strength. I would love to hear from all of you, as always let me know your viewpoints on what I have written as well.

So cherish your loved ones and shower your love on them and Carpe Diem!

It's Vishu timee! :D

It has been quite a long time since my last post and here is one on Vishu :D

Vishu aka  the Malayalam New Year,falls usually on April 14 or 15^th every year.It is celebrated with the usual  exuberance of any festival, it is also a harvest festival which is a reminder of the days of our forefathers. Vishu also means equal as it is the day during the equinox, when there is equal number of hours of daylight and darkness.

Now I shall stop providing Wikipedia like info on my blog and write what I wanted to about Vishu :P . Definitely my readers would by now know the fact that it is not that Vishu is a harvest festival nor that it has equal day and night hours that makes me feel so happy about the festival! *duuh* It is the festival where you get Kaineetam (Tradition where elders give money to the younger ones),Vishu Kani (the first sight in the morning), then the epic Sadhya ( feast) it is the elaborate meal on a big banana leaf where you will be treated to almost 25 dishes with rice ( a buffet where you needn't move around – everything comes to you in a specific order) then crackers and new clothes.

Yummy sumptuous Sadhya- The Keralite buffet ;)

 Vishu Kani arrangement is a fun thing to do in India, because the yellow golden Laburnum flowers are an integral part of the Kani and since we did not have these flowers at our house,we invariably plucked them from the trees in our  neighbors’ houses ,and in houses where they act like they can’t share a few flowers we take it without their consent *yeaah steal :P I am pretty sure that the people from whose backyards I “borrowed” some flowers without consent from  them will not read my blog, even if they do for the greater good they will forgive me :P*,  and in case it’s on the  higher branches all the monkey acts to get some so that the Vishu kani is perfect for the next day morning .Then setting it with Vegetables, fruits, mirrors, pictures and idols of God, Money, Gold and lot more things which depending on each household varies. And the even beautiful part is the view you have in the morning, usually my mother wakes me up and leads me to the place where the Kani is set and it is the first view that you have once you open your eyes. An auspicious Kani at dawn on the Vishu day is considered lucky for the entire year. It’s not every day that you get to see such a beautifully set view in the morning.

 

As a person who has spent only few Vishu’s in India with my relatives, the times I have are cherished memories. Especially watching my grandfather read the Ramayana and listening to him narrate the stories for me, also our conversations where he reminisces about his young days,then visiting the temple with him . Followed by, pestering everyone who comes home that day for Kaineetam. We used to literally visit *in reality,raid * every house in the neighborhood acting like kids spreading the joy of Vishu but there, just to get our money :D. Being the youngest one was good and bad then, because as the youngest some of my kind elders would give me more money and others would just be like’ you’re a kid what do you need money for !’ and give me less than my sister * What do they know about the financial needs of a ten year old! Hmph*.I also had to deal with extra” smart” brothers who would give coins and get away with it and their supposedly valid reasoning for it is that for Vishu Kaineetam it should be given only in coins and not notes! *Can’t blame them, coz I do it now :P*

The sumptuous lunch which is like a half an hour ritual *actually the time is variable, based on how much you hog*. After which there will be games and conversation and the usual laziness after a heavy meal! *burp :P*

Even in my 4years of hostel life, I used to set up Kani with great fervor , it was the only festival I religiously made sure to take the pain to celebrate. Though I don’t really believe in the auspiciousness of the Kani,the entire joy of setting it up and waking up in the morning to view it gives a sense of happiness that I cherish.

For those of my readers who could relate,I am sure you might have had a good time reminiscing old memories and for those of you who are getting to know Vishu for the first time- it is today and if you have Keralite friends around bug them to treat you with a Sadhya :) *fully vegetarian deliciouss meal! *

I would love to hear your favorite memories of the festival and for my readers who are wondering about Vishu it is a festival like Ugadi, Tamil New Year and Lohri *that’s all I can think of now*  .

So dear readers,   Vishu all a Happy Vishu ;D *pun intended* Hope all of you have a brilliant year ahead :)

OMG !! It's Board Exams :O

It’s been long since my last post and it’s high time I wrote a new post and here it comes!

 Oh it was  the last day of the shortest month in the calendar and this day has been a nightmare for me during two years once in 2007 and the other in 2009,reason Board exams * I can already sense a feeling of solidarity from my readers: D *.

Before I unravel the misery of my board exams, I will tell you about my ignorance towards this pressure point date. Having an elder sibling in the house who has been through it before equips both your parents and your sibling with unfathomable expertise on the subject. And clearly when my sister wrote her first boards in 10^th and fretted a bit about her exams, me being  the primary school kid - was laughing at it * yes, quite a pain in the neck sister I was, my sister still strongly feels that way! :P!*

And belonging to a family where academics is given high priority, it’s an unspoken rule that you need to score good marks*yeah that’s the scenario at almost every house!* .This is the score card at home:

·         90 % and above is extraordinary- You will be suffocated with love, surprises and what not! All this is hypothetical coz I haven’t ever got there!:D

·         85 % above is very good – You get lesser benefits than the above one but still can’t complain :P

·         80% - 85% we are satisfied but you could do better – in this situation I will be under scrutiny over why the marks went down.

·         Below 80%- I really don’t want to write it here: P and I have been in there quite a few times!

So when I was in 10^th, pretty much my school, parents and friends were enough to make me understand the seriousness of Board exams. The scary stories of my answer sheets being evaluated by some teacher in some corner of India and that they might not understand my handwriting*oh yeah my handwriting is worse than the one on a doctor’s prescription:D*,then the nightmare of not attaching the graph sheets, followed by my sisters expert advice that I should use black ,blue  ink, underlining, writing in points so on and so forth!

And one of my best friends in school was also the topper of my batch, so you can imagine my state.  She would be well prepared, all set for the exam and I will be looking for my text book just then! She used to get a little nervous and that was my cue that I am totally underprepared! She was a positive influence I must say * Thank you J *!

So after all the model exams conducted by my school which is like the toughest exam you could give before facing boards coz it will make you feel like an idiot and that you don’t even have a chance of getting 80 percent in boards *yeah, those model exams are meant to scare you and make us work harder *!

Eventually, I  actually started studying only in February making up a plan and trying hard to follow it. That was my month of hibernation; I like to think of it like giving my brain breathing space for the rest of the year and making it work under pressure for just two months! Its effective, at least for me:D*My mom hates that though! Consistency is her motto! *

                                   

My dad pretty much gave me the end rule – I expect you to score well-I don’t care how you do it!

So Feb 28, was the last day before exams when everyone’s worried and wondering how the exams are going to be. It’s also the day I analyzed how effective my planning for Feb has been * I ain’t going to tell you how successful it was*. Both in my 10^th and 12^th grades  Feb 28^th was filled with good luck wishes and calls from near and dear ones who seemed more worried than me! And their constant advice – Don’t get tensed, you’ll forget what you learnt so just relax and go and the best part is revise all that you learnt!  I so wanted to tell them that, firstly I need to know something to forget when I get tensed and secondly that “Revision” is something I can ever find time to do because to revise you need to learn first, which I do only last minute hence I combine learning and revision together *multi tasking:P* . And I am sure that Feb 28 is one of the busiest days for the Gods as he/she will be bombarded with lot of prayers from fretting kids, and anticipating parents &teachers.

This blog post is to all the students who are writing their board exams and to all those who have been through this pressurizing experience: P. And this is just a funny take on these exams from a person who underwent the grueling CBSE Board exam experience and did pretty ok in terms of grades *grueling is a hard word,I would say over accentuated*

All the very best to all those who are writing examsJ. Do your best and you will pass with great grades J.And finally don’t get tensed, after all its not the end of the world and board exams are pretty over hyped! And one of my favorite things to do in my exam halls were to smile at my examiners as they will be all serious *Boards duh!* and they also expect us to be tensed. By smiling at them they would come make conversation and help me get into ease :D *Please do not try this unless you can make meaningless social small talk :D ,coz else it will be plain awkwardness *

Till my next post keeeep smiling and have lots of fun J .And don’t forget to share your memories of your exams  J.

Live life Carpe diem  ;) *oh yeaah!I am using fancy vocabulary!Thats just a new word I learned ,it means  Enjoy the present !