The Marriage Trauma!

Everyone says “It’s time to marry” once we get to our 20's but do we feel ?!

So yeah as a country we are obsessed with celebrating  weddings with unnecessary extravagenzas and also a vast number of parents still consider marrying off their children to be a major responsibility *I mean it is ,but they soleley consider it their big to do task *.So what if the girl / boy is not ready to get married? Or does not feel responsible enough for that giant leap ?

For example , as someone who hasn't dreamt of their marriage since high school .To me marriage is still very alien and something I am not ready for *I doubt if I will ever be ready though!*. So with these conversations around me , followed by cribbing about the same dreaded marriage from my friends made me think why is this such  a big thing ! After all our parents have their own reasons for it and we have our own to stay away from it.

                  It should have been- Not sure if Marriage would suck for me or I would suck at marriage!

So, I set about my research and came across reports and columns in which even parents with such liberal and urbane outlook become awry when it comes to their kid’s marriage. So here's a list of few reasons why in general most girls who are 23 years old and above get hounded *Sorry men, nothing against you but generally most guys I know don't get pressured until they are 27* :

Reason #1: Everything starts with the visit to the astrologer *He who knows everything, supposedly!*.Then by a freak coincidence the stars and planets have to spell out ‘MARRIAGE’ which should happen within the next year or so. *Bam! Do you hear my world crashing!*.I really can't understand the undue importance Indian households give for astrology, roughly 4 billion people in the world seem to get by without planets, stars and astrologers showing them the way!

Reason #2: The new matchmakers of the 21^st century, matrimonial websites. It is pretty much like an online marketplace for young Indians of “marriageable age” who apparently never smoke nor drink and is the epitome of the perfect bride/groom.In reality maybe they all are, but I just found it way too hard to believe. I was surprised at the variety and classifications I found there! Seriously, you can custom find your dream groom/bride- much like how you would get a Subway sandwich made :P .

Reason #3: Uncles, aunties and people I don't even know exist! She’s 23 when you are getting her married. What is your problem in life people? Don’t you have enough of worries yourself? Is marriage the only life mission of every girl? It’s as if, as soon as a girl turns 23 some psycho alarm starts ringing in their minds *These are times I wish Dexter was a real person*

Reason #4: Parents. It’s high time we stopped deciding “marriageable age” for men and women. We do not need to have a fixed checklist for life like this:

·         CBSE Board exams 90 %  -- Check

·         Engineer/ Doctor -  Check

·         Masters – Check

·         Job – Check

·         Marriage – Like really?! Why can't people just live their lives?!

·         Kids – uh just when I thought the list was all over!

                                         

People crib about marriage all the time , then why do you even want to force it on others? *sadistic people, I say!*.Marriage is such an expensive affair  and it is still considered a prestige issue in most communities. The children should be given the responsibility to fund their marriage and also to get married when they like *At least for those who want that freedom*!!

No offense to all my friends who are married, I wish you all a very happy married life and I am truly happy for you . While as for  those of you who are in a situation similar to mine, welcome to the club :(  . And if any prospective grooms / groom’s parents have read this then I guess you understand it’s high time you stop pursuing me, please find a more willing and appropriate bride for your son *Though India’s gender ratio is distorted, we still have 940 women for every 1000 men*.

If you have any thoughts on this or if you completely disagree with me and feel every girl on earth should get married by the time they turn 23 *I will find you and torment you!* please feel free to express it.

I hope to be more regular and write more .Till my next post , take care and live life Carpe Diem ;)
Keep that beautiful smile on :)

P.S : And when you comment please leave your names, Anonymous comments will be removed *Being anonymous  does give us a lot of power but let's  just save that for Superheroes*

OMG !! It's Board Exams :O

It’s been long since my last post and it’s high time I wrote a new post and here it comes!

 Oh it was  the last day of the shortest month in the calendar and this day has been a nightmare for me during two years once in 2007 and the other in 2009,reason Board exams * I can already sense a feeling of solidarity from my readers: D *.

Before I unravel the misery of my board exams, I will tell you about my ignorance towards this pressure point date. Having an elder sibling in the house who has been through it before equips both your parents and your sibling with unfathomable expertise on the subject. And clearly when my sister wrote her first boards in 10^th and fretted a bit about her exams, me being  the primary school kid - was laughing at it * yes, quite a pain in the neck sister I was, my sister still strongly feels that way! :P!*

And belonging to a family where academics is given high priority, it’s an unspoken rule that you need to score good marks*yeah that’s the scenario at almost every house!* .This is the score card at home:

·         90 % and above is extraordinary- You will be suffocated with love, surprises and what not! All this is hypothetical coz I haven’t ever got there!:D

·         85 % above is very good – You get lesser benefits than the above one but still can’t complain :P

·         80% - 85% we are satisfied but you could do better – in this situation I will be under scrutiny over why the marks went down.

·         Below 80%- I really don’t want to write it here: P and I have been in there quite a few times!

So when I was in 10^th, pretty much my school, parents and friends were enough to make me understand the seriousness of Board exams. The scary stories of my answer sheets being evaluated by some teacher in some corner of India and that they might not understand my handwriting*oh yeah my handwriting is worse than the one on a doctor’s prescription:D*,then the nightmare of not attaching the graph sheets, followed by my sisters expert advice that I should use black ,blue  ink, underlining, writing in points so on and so forth!

And one of my best friends in school was also the topper of my batch, so you can imagine my state.  She would be well prepared, all set for the exam and I will be looking for my text book just then! She used to get a little nervous and that was my cue that I am totally underprepared! She was a positive influence I must say * Thank you J *!

So after all the model exams conducted by my school which is like the toughest exam you could give before facing boards coz it will make you feel like an idiot and that you don’t even have a chance of getting 80 percent in boards *yeah, those model exams are meant to scare you and make us work harder *!

Eventually, I  actually started studying only in February making up a plan and trying hard to follow it. That was my month of hibernation; I like to think of it like giving my brain breathing space for the rest of the year and making it work under pressure for just two months! Its effective, at least for me:D*My mom hates that though! Consistency is her motto! *

                                   

My dad pretty much gave me the end rule – I expect you to score well-I don’t care how you do it!

So Feb 28, was the last day before exams when everyone’s worried and wondering how the exams are going to be. It’s also the day I analyzed how effective my planning for Feb has been * I ain’t going to tell you how successful it was*. Both in my 10^th and 12^th grades  Feb 28^th was filled with good luck wishes and calls from near and dear ones who seemed more worried than me! And their constant advice – Don’t get tensed, you’ll forget what you learnt so just relax and go and the best part is revise all that you learnt!  I so wanted to tell them that, firstly I need to know something to forget when I get tensed and secondly that “Revision” is something I can ever find time to do because to revise you need to learn first, which I do only last minute hence I combine learning and revision together *multi tasking:P* . And I am sure that Feb 28 is one of the busiest days for the Gods as he/she will be bombarded with lot of prayers from fretting kids, and anticipating parents &teachers.

This blog post is to all the students who are writing their board exams and to all those who have been through this pressurizing experience: P. And this is just a funny take on these exams from a person who underwent the grueling CBSE Board exam experience and did pretty ok in terms of grades *grueling is a hard word,I would say over accentuated*

All the very best to all those who are writing examsJ. Do your best and you will pass with great grades J.And finally don’t get tensed, after all its not the end of the world and board exams are pretty over hyped! And one of my favorite things to do in my exam halls were to smile at my examiners as they will be all serious *Boards duh!* and they also expect us to be tensed. By smiling at them they would come make conversation and help me get into ease :D *Please do not try this unless you can make meaningless social small talk :D ,coz else it will be plain awkwardness *

Till my next post keeeep smiling and have lots of fun J .And don’t forget to share your memories of your exams  J.

Live life Carpe diem  ;) *oh yeaah!I am using fancy vocabulary!Thats just a new word I learned ,it means  Enjoy the present !